Loser Goes First by Dan Kennedy

Author:Dan Kennedy
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction
ISBN: 9781400082926
Publisher: Crown
Published: 2004-08-24T00:00:00+00:00

6

Nice Shot, Tex

Just months before the alternative music scene exploded in Seattle, I cashed the last of my fire-fighting paychecks and used some of the money to buy an acoustic guitar. I also filled up the tank of my 1981 two-wheel-drive Toyota truck and drove. I drove for days—in the opposite direction of Seattle—all the way to Texas. Somebody had, uh, given me the tip that the alternative music scene was actually going to explode out of Austin, not Seattle. I should have doubted the validity of this tip, because as I made my way down the West Coast, staying with friends along the way, each friend I stayed with looked at me with this kind of blank, confused expression when I told them where I was going. Among the most popular responses from friends in L.A., San Francisco, and Tucson were:

“Why are you going to Texas?”

—Joe in San Francisco

“No, seriously.”

—Brian in L.A.

“I didn’t know you played that kind of music. I guess I didn’t know you played music, period.”

—Rob in Tucson

In retrospect, I can see that Rob had a point. The only bands I was in during my twenties never really got much accomplished. The reaction to my bands from audiences ranged from indifferent to violently opposed, as we could never play well enough to play any of their favorite songs. And any sincere attempt we made to do so was not well received—they usually thought we were making fun of their favorite songs. Basically, the only bands I was able to get by in were bands that when all of us played at once, with the volume high enough, you couldn’t tell that I wasn’t really much of a guitar player, and obviously didn’t have much of an idea what to sing about. We once made the mistake of playing in a bowling alley bar filled with people who wanted to hear their favorite songs that the radio played. People who were “working for the weekend.” Folks who couldn’t “fight this feeling anymore,” because at this point they had “forgotten what they started fighting for.” We tried to fake our way through a few hit tunes, but clearly lacked the desire or know-how and pretty clearly (you suck) were not the favorite (can we turn the jukebox back on?) of the crowd. So, looking back, not being the best guitarist and singer to start with, I have to admit this decision to go solo and drive to Texas to make it may not have been the best decision.

After I got to Austin I found something out. I found out that with an acoustic guitar, and no wall of noise to hide behind, I couldn’t really play any of the songs from the bands I used to be in. I also found out that I couldn’t write a song. This was a problem, as I was lucky enough to have lined up a gig for the following night.

Okay, I thought. Don’t panic. You came close when you were ten. Don’t turn back again.

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